Patricia and the Paste Jar
by Arlene Mandell,
Newland, NC

Patricia was in my Pre-Kindergarten class when I taught in the Head Start Program in Lower Manhattan in the 1960s. Her clothes were raggedy, she was dirty, her hair uncombed; and, she had the saddest big brown eyes I had ever seen on a child that age. She wouldn't play, she wouldn't talk, just sat there looking down. She had a brother or sister in every grade from first to sixth. After that, the next step up for children in this family was often prison. 

On the first day of school, another child came up to me and pointed to Patricia -- she was eating from the big paste jar. I sat down next to her on one of the little chairs and asked why she was doing that. She said she was hungry. I gave her my paper-bag lunch to eat -- right there, right then -- and said I would bring her something good to eat every morning, but she was NOT to eat from the paste jar anymore as it would give her a tummy ache. 

For the next several months, I brought in the small, individual little boxes of cereal you could buy back then, a pint of milk, and raisins or a banana. She ate her breakfast while the other kids had playtime. No one asked why -- they seemed to understand. I also gave her hugs and kisses. Every day. No one asked about that either. 

Little by little, Patricia had more bright days. I could get her to do a puzzle, look through a picture book, draw with crayons, play with the guinea pig. One morning midway through the year, she came to school all dressed up and smiling like someone with a happy secret, her hair neatly combed into braids secured with colorful barrettes. I grabbed her in a big hug and asked how come she looked so special that day? She said: "Because you love me." She floored me; I have never forgotten that precious moment.

Patricia's face still haunts me. I often wonder how she fared in life with so much against her. But I do know that she experienced love. It has been my hope all these years that love, combined with the fun of learning, made a difference in the lives of all the little ones I taught, but especially in the life of this one child.

Copyright 2020, Arlene Mandell