"Going on 3" by Annette L. Brown

 – Will I be a good grandmother?

“How could you do that to 6?” I thrust hand to heart.

Annette L. Brown is a mother, wife, and retired teacher, who lives on an almond farm in Central California where she enjoys spending time with family and friends. She is grateful for the support of The Taste Life Twice Writers and The Light Makers’ Society and for simply having time to write. Annette has pieces reflecting her love of nature, family, beauty, and humor in several publications including Cathexis Northwest Press, Last Stanza Poetry, Flash Fiction Magazine, Every Day Fiction, and other PSP Project anthologies.

Author’s Talk

Annette L. Brown

I love the light in a child’s eyes. One of the greatest joys of raising my sons was seeing the world again through that light. In it, there is wonder and joy and the expectation that everything will work out: Santa will bring the coveted toy, the sun will shine for the birthday party, people (even strangers) are safe and kind. A child’s faith is naive, but it is still there until it isn’t, and it’s one of my favorite qualities of the innocent. 

This is perhaps why I was so charmed by Zowhat. His eyes were alive with energy and intelligence, curiosity and fun. I enjoyed our time so much that I spoke of him to my family and friends and ultimately decided to write about him, so I could stop talking about him. 

My initial writing was simply a narrative recounting our adventures, description focused on how he looked, reacted, and engaged with me. When I shared the piece with my husband and then with my writing group, everyone asked the same questions: Why are you writing this? Where are you in the piece?  

My heart knew the truth, but I had masked that truth with the details of the experience. While I delighted in the fun I shared with Zowhat, it is not why I needed to write about him. Doubt was. Or perhaps the relief I felt after spending time with him. I was on a plane, traveling to care for my three-month-old grandchild, and I feared I would not be good at it, that somehow I wouldn’t do it right. Perhaps silly. My brother rolled his eyes at me when I shared this, but his wife nodded in understanding.  

When I finally admitted I had been afraid of not grandmothering “properly,” I rewrote the piece about Zowhat, who evolved into the archetypal helper-guide, who shows up just in time to give the hero the knowledge necessary to be successful.  

Zowhat reminded me there is more than one way to do things, more than one rhythm to play, and if I pay attention and approach my work with an open heart, it will be enough. I am grateful to this six-year-old who achieved a timely intervention by doing nothing except being himself.  

I hope each of you is so lucky to receive such aid in your hours of doubt. Cheers!