"The Jig Is Up" by Arlene Mandell (Reprise)
— Wait! Don’t tell me.
Mother and I had never spoken about death until Dad had passed.
Arlene Mandell is an artist living in Linville, North Carolina, proudly celebrating her 10th year at Carlton Gallery in Banner Elk. (carltongallery.com/arlene-mandell). A native New Yorker, relocating to the Blue Ridge Mountains with Captain Dan ignited a passion to write. Her “6-minute Stories” podcasts include: “Eye of the Dolphin,” “Artist Borne,” “Gobsmacked in the Gulfstream,” “Renegade Daughter,” “It Started with a Typo,” “Shopping for the Homeless,” “Thirteen Candles in the Dark,” “The Promise of Romance,” “At Five & Ninety-Five, Mother Was a Star,” and “In the Heart of Trauma.”
Author’s Talk
Arlene with her mother
In the 1970s, I became a steady, supportive presence to Evelyn, my longtime dearest friend. She had fiercely fought and survived four metastases of breast cancer, but they had taken a toll. Her brother, a doctor at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in Washington, DC, admitted Evelyn there. She would have access to the latest advances in medical treatments for the purpose of prolonging her life.
I accepted a generous invitation from Evelyn’s large and loving family to travel to NIH with Evelyn’s husband, their adult children, and Evelyn’s mother, to the NIH. We would spend a week visiting with Evelyn in her hospital room. Despite excellent medical care and our constant ministrations of love and attention, Evelyn struggled and grew weary.
During a rare, private moment with Evelyn, I was shocked when she begged me to help her die. She said she had had enough and wanted to “go,” but her family didn’t want to hear it. I could not help her; it was not my place. But I vowed never to let that situation happen to me or to a loved one in my care.
That vow played a critical role as I became responsible for, and protective of, my own mother's care when she became ill. My mom had always avoided difficult subjects. I was, therefore, flabbergasted when, at one point during her illness, she blurted out: “Is the jig up?” That phrase--unusual, coming from my mother--took me by surprise back in 2010, and popped up right away when I saw the “Sooner or Later” prompt earlier this year.
As an artist and as of 2017 a blossoming author, it's been my fervent desire to create something of value to leave behind in my wake. Providence has partnered with me to accomplish that goal; my artwork, poetry, prose have gone out to the wider world, and I am content. But my most endearing accomplishment was guiding my mother, tenderly, through her old age, infirmity and death--as you will hear in this podcast.
As a 20-year survivor myself of radical breast-cancer treatment, and with a family history rife with cancer, my possible death by terminal illness is something I have already thought through and prepared for, but which I do not dwell on. I”m grateful to www.compassionandchoices.org for their extensive information of realistic, end-of-life options to mitigate unnecessary suffering.—Arlene Mandell
